Rules of conduct
by Kirin1
Summary: Three very different mechs. Bound by the threads of friendship and love. Now if only Skywarp could stop being an aft, all would be well.


**Rules of conduct  
**

**Warning** (sort of) : Since English is not my first language, I am pretty sure there will be some awkward phrasing and maybe some words not used as they should be. If you spot any of these along with some improper grammar, please let me know.  
**Other notes** : cartoon G1, pre-Earth, pre-war  
**Disclaimer** : Don't own.

o o o o o o o o o o o

It was just a door. Plain, dull... Like any other door in the corridor. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing at all. And he was a warrior, proud and fierce. No way he was being intimidated by a single fragging door.  
He glanced at his companion.  
"... What am I doing here, again?"  
If he could have rolled his optics - and Primus, being so often in Skywarp's company, did he wish he could - Thundercracker would have gladly done so. As it was, he merely let out an exasperated sigh.  
"My creator wanted to meet you."  
"Oh. Right," Skywarp muttered before going back to glower at the door.  
"Slaggit, 'warp! Stop glaring at the damned door and go in!" Thundercracker snapped, growing impatient at the teleporter's total lack of enthusiasm.  
Skywarp eyed him balefully. Easy for him to say. He was not the one who was going to be weighted, measured and found lacking. Why couldn't his friend's creator be like his own? Kicking the rust bucket.  
Steeling himself, he straightened. Right! He could do this. After all he just had to push a button and take five little steps forward. The door slid open and he hurriedly walked in before he thought too much about it and decided to turn around and run away as fast as he could. Not that he could have fled anyway, what with TC behind him cutting his escape route off. And teleporting wasn't even worth considering, TC would never forgive him if he did.  
The door closed with a soft hiss and a voice stopped him in his tracks. "You're late."  
"Yeah, sorry 'bout th..." Skywarp trailed off as he took in the white and blue mech in front of him. Wait! Wasn't he that upper-class what's-his-name that he saw visiting TC every now and then? Taken aback, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Err... Aren'tcha... ya know... awfully young to be TC's creator?"  
The mech's optics brightened slightly in amusement. "I see what you meant when you said he was a bit rough on the edges."  
"Understatement of the vorn. Sorry," replied the blue seeker as the other waved his apology away.  
"Nonsense. Besides I needed a challenge. And no offense but it looks like I'm going to have my work cut out with your friend."  
"Bwuh?"  
"Ah. I take it you didn't tell him then?"  
Thundercracker shook his head with a sheepish grin. "Not exactly."  
"Tell me what?"

By then Skywarp decided he had enough. "Oi, TC! What's up? I thought we were goin' to meet your creator."  
"We are. Just... Not right now."  
Skywarp's optics darkened in a frown. He didn't know where this was heading but somehow he didn't like it one bit. "Ok. So what are we doin' here and who's he?" He asked pointing at the third mech who merely chuckled.  
"A lot of work indeed," he murmured before saying loud and clear. "My name is Mirage and Thundercracker here asked me to teach you all I know about etiquette."  
When no string of expletives followed, Thundercracker slowly inched towards his lover.  
" 'warp?" Still no answer. "I think you broke him, 'raj."  
"Don't call me 'raj. And may I remind you that this was **your** idea?"  
Skywarp shook himself, a dazed look on his face, interrupting their argument.  
"Hey, TC, I had this funny defrag sequence... There was this strange mech claiming you asked him to teach me all those proper and fancy tricks..."  
"Etiquette," corrected Mirage.  
"Yeah, that. And... Oh no! No way! Not happening!" exclaimed Skywarp, backing away and trying not to look at Thundercracker's pleading optics.

o o o o o o o o o o o

This, Skywarp decided glumly as he tried to make sense of whatever Mirage was saying, was his personal Pit for every prank he ever pulled since his activation. He just knew it.  
Because really who cared about how one should pick his energon cup or how fast downing it was appropriate or not? Apparently TC's creator did. Not that he knew a lot about him. To be frank, his friend was a bit tight-lipped when it came to himself.  
So the meeting request was a surprise. Though not unwelcome since it would be a perfect chance to learn more about his partner. And if it meant he had to cram all that useless crap into his CPU then so be it. No one said he couldn't delete the files after that anyway.  
Besides how hard could it be to learn such trivial stuff?

Mirage eyed the seeker he was teaching. His face was rather expressive and the range of emotions he displayed in such a short period quite entertaining. Well, at first it had been. Now it was just plainly annoying since it only seemed to waver between bored, bored, not listening, bored, definitely not listening, soooo bored...  
He felt his left hand twitch as yet another deep dejected sigh escaped Skywarp's lips. Truly, it was a good thing he had a soft spot for Thundercracker, else he would have given up the task long ago, no matter the challenge it was presenting. Friends in need were friends indeed.  
Though their interaction was first dictated by their creators' association, he genuinely liked Thundercracker. That in itself explained why he continued to frequent him after, in a rebellious streak, the younger mech decided to join the army and reformat into a seeker, efficiently cutting his ties with most of his acquaintances.  
He had to admit he had been a little anxious the first times he went to visit his friend.  
He usually tried not to lend a serious audio to the gossip about the lower classes. Still, army grunts were notorious for their brawls, lack of common sense and uncouth behaviour.  
Thankfully the less than favorable environment did not change Thundercracker that much. He was a bit more assertive than he remembered him. A good deal more sarcastic too. But he could still see the kind soft spoken mech beneath those rough new layers.  
When Thundercracker paged him with a not so odd solicitation - which was actually more of a plea than anything else - , Mirage didn't think twice about it. He knew most soldier mechs and femmes didn't have the kind of manners that would placate Slipstream - nor were they likely to ever need them.  
He heard a lot about the teleporter while visiting. One way or another, the conversation would eventually lead to Skywarp, whether it was to describe his latest prank or rant about his never-ending stupidity. Overall Mirage didn't know a lot about his friend's teammate. Oh, he knew the mech was good at field manipulation, which was a given - at least in his opinion - when you thought about his ability but he never got the opportunity to get more than a passing glance at him before.  
Through what he heard, Mirage figured Skywarp was a cheerful mech, quite bright though a bit reckless and mischievious but with a good spark and eager to learn.  
So he wasn't all that concerned about the lessons.  
A few joors later the noblemech was definitely revising his previous assessment. Skywarp was an aft with the attention span of a turbot-rat. No, wait, that was an insult to the turbo-rats.  
Mirage tiredly rubbed his nose-bridge. "Thundercracker, when are you supposed to meet Slipstream, again?" He asked in a low voice.  
"In a dozen of orns. It will be a small informal meal or so he says," was the wary answer.  
"Good luck. You'll need it."  
"Hmmm, 'raj ... You're invited, remember?"  
"I hate you so much."  
"That bad, eh?"  
Mirage didn't even bother to answer as he strolled back towards Skywarp more determined than ever. No "student" of his was going to embarrass him by behaving like some uncivilized low-class slum-dweller. He had ten orns - give or take a few cycles - and he intended to use them.

o o o o o o o o o o o

Skywarp couldn't help but stare through the window pane as up and up they went.  
This was the first time he ever went to the higher levels of Iacon. And somehow he doubted he would have the occasion twice.  
The platform stopped at the middle-level. He peered at his companions but Thundercracker and Mirage remained still as it started moving again. The really upper plate it was then.  
Once more he wondered who TC's creator was. Maybe a very wealthy merchant. Or a bot in the service of the higher-class which would explain the fuss about the etiquette thingy. Though it made no sense as to why TC would enlist.  
Eh, maybe he could get some answers from the stuck up mech. After all they were going to spend the better of the next few orns together at his place so he could get more practice at this etiquette thingy. And that reminded him... TC owed him. And he owed him big. He gave up most of his leaves for that so it better be worth it!  
On the way to wherever Mirage's place was, they got curious glances from the locals since it was rare for army mechs to be seen here - except for high ranking officers. But Skywarp didn't even notice as he was too busy taking the sights in.

Thundercracker was relieved when they reached Mirage's home. So far they'd been fortunate not to meet any of his past acquaintances - though it was doubtful they would have recognized him. Still, that would have been awkward. Very few had understood his reasons for leaving the higher levels, his creator's sphere of influence and the wealth that came with his former name. Despite all his disapproval, Slipstream might have. He was pretty sure Mirage had not. And that was why he treasured their friendship even more, for the noble mech never judged him, never tried to change his mind or show him the error of his way.

o o o o o o o o o o o

During the few orns they'd been spending together, Mirage had observed the two seekers' interaction. Mainly because he was trying to assess Skywarp's worthiness.  
The noble really liked Thundercracker. But long ago he decided he'd rather remain his friend than be rejected and make things tense between them. So he never declared himself. And now he never would. But that didn't mean he was jealous.  
Idly, he wondered which of the seeker's traits allured his friend. Because he personally couldn't see anything redeemable. Skywarp was rash, loud, whiny, temperamental, crude and had the intellect of a docker - not that he had anything against dockers per se, after all someone had to take care of the job. So what if he was moderately good-looking? He still had the overall charm of a trash compactor.  
Okay, maybe he didn't bury his feelings as deep as he thought he had. Maybe he still yearned to be the one at Thundercracker's side and maybe he did resent the mech for stealing his affections. Maybe.  
But he made a promise to his friend and he intended to fulfill it. He just hadn't expected to hurt so much in the process.  
A particularly inane comment made him focus on the teleporter. Primus! They had broached this topic at least thrice already! What was there not to understand? Mirage was sorely tempted to send it all to the Pits but a practice party had been scheduled later this orn, guests were expected and if Skywarp didn't rise to the challenge, as his "teacher", his own status was going to be shot down faster than a turbo-fox.

Skywarp was bored out of his processor. Blahblahblah ... Was the mech ever going to shut up? Always the same old stuff. Not his fault he couldn't remember why it was important to nod twice at someone if his standing... wait, was it once or twice? Those high-class mechs were so confusing.  
He glanced at TC and scowled. The lucky fragger was busy reading some datapads. Not that he enjoyed reading but it would have been a welcome respite from all that proper slag Mirage was force-feeding him.

From his seat, Thundercracker frowned as he felt his Skywarp-on-a-romp radar switch on. One could not spend vorns living in the same quarters as the prankster without developing some basic healthy survival habits. Datapads forgotten, he looked up sharply and, no mistake, here was Skywarp with that glint in his optics and that insufferable barely noticeable smirk of his which spelled nothing but trouble for all parties involved.  
He stiffened a bit as he felt 'warp slowly reaching out with his energy field as Mirage paced near. He winced when Skywarp's field teasingly brushed against the other mech's, fully expecting his friend to whirl around furious, indignant and sputtering about the shameless behaviour of the seeker. What he did not expect was for Mirage to let out a strangled cry before he collapsed in a heap.

Mirage stared blankly at the ceiling as he onlined slowly. This was not his room. This was... Why the frag was he looking at the salon ceiling? Better question : why had he offlined in his salon? He blinked, optics dimming and brightening quickly, as his CPU tried in vain to come up with an answer.  
" 'raj? You okay?" Thundercracker's worried voiced pulled him out of his musing.  
He turned slightly his head and looked questioningly at his friend. "Thundercracker? What happened?"  
A sigh. "Skywarp happened."  
His confusion must have shown for Thundercracker quickly said "It was just a stupid prank. Nothing big but he forgot, and I as well, that... ah... civilians don't have the same field-sensitivity as we, soldiers, do - in particular those with special ability like him. So... errrr..." His friend trailed off, visibly unsure if he should carry on.  
"So what?" Irritation coloured his voice. Maybe it was not very proper for a gentlemech to show his anger so openly but he didn't like to be fooled with and if Thundercracker was implying what he thought he was implying... Well, Mirage was not a happy Cybertronian. Not to mention his patience had already been wearing thin by dealing with the teleporter all orn.  
Speaking of Unicron's spawn... "Never seen a mech overload so fast, honest!" cut in Skywarp, his frame shaking with mirth.  
" 'warp!! You're not helping!" Thundercracker berated the prankster with little effect if the guffaws were any indication.  
This was definitely not what he had hoped to hear and Mirage wished he could disappear right here right now. He had never felt so mortified in his whole life. Not even when, in his much younger vorns, his creator - along with some important guest - caught him hand in the proverbial energon-treat jar.  
As it was, a processor shut-down suddenly seemed very tempting, if only to be spared the incoming disaster. For he now knew the soirée was bound to fail spectacularly, the only variable being on how many new enemies hounding for his energon he would have by the morrow.

o o o o o o o o o o o

So far so good. A joor in the party and Skywarp still had to make an aft out of himself.  
Thundercracker had left his lover's side and was nowhere to be seen. But Mirage was not worried about him, he could take care of himself. Skywarp on the other hand...  
Mirage was only beginning to relax a bit when Thundercracker strolled back. The smile on his lips died instantly as he caught bits of the conversation going around.

"Mirage, tell me 'warp hasn't been talking about coruna rust all the time I was away." He whispered almost urgently as he reached his friend.  
The noblemech tilted his head, intrigued. "He has. Is that a problem?"  
"A problem?! You're kidding me right?"  
"Apart the fact that Steelcast is thinking about proposing a motion to help those who suffer from this affliction, I don't see what's upsetting you so much."  
"He's **what**? 'raj, coruna rust is a very specific... virus."  
"Yes, I understood that much"  
"Let me clarify. Coruna rust is contracted mainly by promiscuous mechs and femmes with close to no standards as long as they're getting paid and almost non-existant firewalls !"  
"Wait... You're telling me the topic we've been discussing for the last ten breems is actually a pleasure bots disease?!"  
"**Cheap** pleasure bots disease."  
"Oh my... That could be troublesome."  
"No you think?" was the scathing reply. Troublesome didn't even cover it.

Thankfully after some rather embarrassing explanations, which actually gave a good laugh to their guests, the party had gone its merry way.  
On his part, Mirage just felt drained. He spent most of his time watching the teleporter for fear he would say or do something improper. On the plus side, apart of the coruna rust incident, Skywarp was surprisingly well-mannered - most of the time anyway - and managed to hold his part of the conversation.  
The downside was that he got first row to witness all the small affectionate gestures the teleporter dared to dispense when no one else could see.  
Primus! He could swear the slagger did it on purpose.  
He clenched his dental plates when the object of his ire groped Thundercracker's aft before turning towards him looking smug.  
The little... He **was** doing it on purpose! Mocking him. Taunting him over the one thing he would never have.

Finally with the last guest gone, Mirage fled to his personal washrack. He knew he should have stayed and talked to Thundercracker about Skywarp's performance but at the moment, he simply couldn't bear being in the same room as those two. Couldn't bear watching Skywarp whispering sweet nothings to TC's audio.  
He took his time, letting the feel of water running down his frame soothe his tension.  
By the time he was done, he was quite sure the two seekers had retreated to their room. Respite. At least until next orn when he would have to face them.  
Once in his room, Mirage let the artificial light slowly flood the place and stopped right in his tracks.  
"What are you doing here?" His voice barely a whisper as he took in the two mechs waiting for him.  
"Mirage, we need to talk."  
"Can't this wait the morrow?" He was exhausted and didn't feel like having an argument with his friend. Not when he was so weary he was bound to let something slip.  
"It's important, 'raj."  
Mirage bit back a sigh. It seemed that recharging would have to wait a bit longer. "Very well. What do you wish to talk about?"  
"Us." Frag. He knew. Or at least suspected.  
The noblemech tensed. "What do you mean?" Maybe if he denied everything, his friend would drop the subject.  
Thundercracker stood up and before he could utter another word, the seeker had him pinned against the wall.  
Mirage blinked. The Firewire he remembered would have never been able to cross the distance between them so fast. But then again this was not Firewire anymore and as a soldier, no doubt Thundercracker's form had been upgraded.  
"You could have told me."  
Mirage felt shivers going down his frame as Thundercracker gently grabbed his wrist. "I..."  
His vocalizer failed him when he felt something connect switfly with his data port on his torso and a wave of emotions washed over him. Warmth, acceptance, desire, love. He basked in those feelings. Until the moment he lifted his head and his optics met Skywarp's. The energon froze in his fuel lines at the lust he saw in them and he jerked away from Thundercracker's embrace. Or tried to.  
" 'raj?"  
No. No matter how much he wanted this, he had his pride. He refused to be toyed with only to be discarded later.  
"It's not what you think 'raj. Calm down."  
"But..."  
"No trick, promise."  
"But..."  
" 'warp is willing to share. And so am I." Thundercracker's solemn expression changed then into something more playful "If you think you can handle a long-term relationship with two lowly army grunts of course."  
Mirage was speechless. What was he supposed to answer to that? Frag, was it even real?  
He drew in a sharp intake of air as Thundercracker's fingers began to trace light patterns on his hip-joint.  
"Relax." Had Thundercracker's voice always been that warm? --_Trust me--_  
The hand moved up and down the seam of his side as the seeker nibbled lightly a cable on his neck. Mirage quivered under the touch. His knees buckled as he moaned softly and leaned a bit more into his hold, all thoughts deserting his processor. _--I... Yes--_  
He didn't remember moving at all. But next thing he knew he was on his berth, two pairs of hands roaming his body. He reached out tentatively, stroking his lovers' wings and gave out a startled yelp as he got some unexpected feedback, ghost-like tingles of pleasure from wings he knew he didn't have. That was when he realized he could feel another presence in the back of his mind. It seemed that Skywarp didn't want to be left aside and connected himself to both of them, though how he managed to get Mirage's cable out without him noticing was still a mystery to the noble mech. But it was a mystery that would have to wait.  
Something caressed his energy-field, sending spikes of ecstasy all over his sensory net.  
Optics flaring, he arched with a wordless cry.  
"Easy, 'warp, easy," murmured Thundercracker, voice raw with arousal, as he gently rubbed his shoulder, fingers digging carefully into the joint, eliciting soft whimpers when he found nodes more sensitive than others. "He has a lower field-tolerance than we do, remember?"  
The teleporter's reply was muffled as he buried his face in his neck. "hmmm... Always wondered... Do you high class stay proper even when interfacing?"  
Mirage didn't answer, couldn't answer even if he had wanted to. --_Mine--_ Two voices spoke in unison, a soft murmur resounding in his mind, tuning out everything else. --_Mine--_  
He was writhing between the two seekers as their energy fields kept mingling. He was on his back, Thundercracker's knees pressed around his waist, the vibrations of his turbines almost sending him over the edge while Skywarp was... was... Oooh...  
Mirage shuddered, overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the sensations he was experiencing. Echoes of pleasure not quite his own ringing through his system. Then everything became a blurr.

When he onlined and saw his lovers' still offlined forms, his first thought was --_that position can't be comfortable for flyers_. Immediately followed by --_I can't move my legs ! Why can't I move my legs ?!_ He craned his neck as much as he could and... Oh. He guessed Skywarp's tight grip on his lower parts could explain why nothing below his waist was responding. But that wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.  
Unfortunately his tentatives to free his limbs from the seeker's grasp only served to have the latter tighten his hold more fiercely.  
"Five more kliks, TC. Don't wanna..." The sight of Skywarp mumbling to his feet would have been most comical if only the seeker had deigned letting go of his legs.  
Well, desperate times called for desperate measures. Mirage groped around and grabbed the first thing he found before flinging it at the seeker. The small holo cube made a nice sound upon meeting its target's head.  
"I'm up! I'm uaaauuugh!!"  
"Ow! 'warp! What have you done this time?" shouted Thundercracker, jolted awake by the sudden pain.  
"Not my fault!!" protested the teleporter as he tried to move away only to realize he couldn't.  
"As if!"  
"Can both of you stop moving? It hurts," complained Mirage, wincing as he felt something pull in his torso.  
The three mechs moved carefully until they managed sitting up. And then they stared. They stared in disbelief at the cluster of knots in their middle.  
"Wow... How did this happen?" Skywarp wondered out loud, earning himself a good pointed look from his lovers.  
"Ok. Note to self : going wild in a threesome with our cables out, not smart. " grumbled Thundercracker before tugging delicately his own, testing the resistance. He groaned as it became obvious that there was no easy way out.

Mirage let out a heavy sigh as they began working on the tangled mess their cables had become.  
Romantic wake-ups besides your loved ones were clearly overrated.

o o o o o o o o o o o

As the three of them waited in the parlour, Skywarp stared jaw-slack at his surrounding. Frag, this mansion was even bigger than Mirage's. Like... way bigger. And he thought Mirage was loaded. He was so busy gawking he almost missed the sound of the door sliding as a brownish mech came in.  
"Master Firewire!" Uh? Who?  
Thundercracker let out a small chuckle as he rose from his seat. "Hi, Deftarm. And it's just Thundercracker now."  
"Lord Slipstream will be pleased to see you," replied the mechservant with a grin of his own.  
The blue seeker grinned. "Like a sore relay I'm sure."  
Confused, Skywarp looked back and forth the two mechs as Mirage remained unfazed. "Uh? Why did he call you... Wait," he suddenly screeched as realization set in. "Slipstream as in... councilor Slipstream?!"  
"Yes, the very same."  
"You're... Slaggit TC ! Councilor Slipstream is your creator?!"  
Thundercracker was calm, he had foreseen his lover's outburst though he wished Skywarp could have contained himself in front of Deftarm. Could have been worse though, Overdrive wouldn't have been nearly as amused as Deftarm.  
"Yes."  
"Oh and you couldn't have shared this teeny-tiny bit of information before uh? So I could, you know, prepare."  
"I didn't want to put any pressure on you."  
"Sure. Just little army-grunt-me meeting a councilor. No pressure at all," Skywarp muttered tartly.  
Okay, so maybe he should have listened to Mirage and warned him beforehand.

The trip to the salon gave Skywarp enough time to compose himself and by the time they reached the room, the teleporter was back to his normal merry self. And **that** worried his companions because a cheery Skywarp was a boisterous Skywarp and - as far as they were concerned - a boisterous Skywarp was rarely a good omen.  
Thundercracker halted in front of the door and stared the teleporter in the optics. " 'warp, I'm serious. No aft-fondling - scratch that, no fondling at all - , no cussing, no leering or whatever in public, I mean it."  
All he got was a a vague "Yeah, yeah, sure." as Skywarp was already gliding past him and into the salon, grinning like a youngling on his first trip to an energon-treat factory.

"We're doomed, aren't we?"


End file.
